Move along, nothing to read

So, this last few months I've been thinking about my own moral/ethical foundation. I can't claim any great insights, but at least I have a process that's a step or two beyond "what someone else told me to think."

1) I want some conscious moral/ethical guidelines to tell me what to do. That way I'm not acting on instinct and old programming, which ends with me doing or supporting things that it turns out I don't like very much.

2) The world is a complicated place requiring a great many judgement calls. I can't possibly lay down rules for every situation. Besides which: having inflexible rules may get me in less trouble than having no rules at all, but much of the trouble it gets me in will have been entirely avoidable.

3) Therefore, I need some simple principles that I can generally stick to, that can inform those judgement calls.

I've ended up at a handful of things that sound like truisms because they've been through the cultural wash so many times.

The big one is "choose to be kind when possible." This runs back to the golden rule, though I'm fond of Hillel's "that which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow; this is the whole of the Law, all else is commentary." I'm not as good at this as I'd like. I'm still prone to letting old fears and old damage override my better nature. I try to do better, and to be kind to myself when I can't.

Related to that is "none of us without all of us," which is even more often honoured in the breach but provides guidance nonetheless.

And there's "intent isn't magic." It's not that only actions matter, especially in interpersonal relationships, but actions for sure matter a heck of a lot more than words or intent. I come to this from "the purpose of a system is what it does," which is kind of the long way round. Then again I have a long-standing tendency to take systems and authorities at their word, so maybe that was the best way for me to get there. (I also like the related "a system is not defined by rules but by how they are enforced," but that's less personally actionable.)

I don't have an unanswerable argument for any of these. I'm okay with that too. I'm not trying to convince anyone else, just myself.

In the course of writing this I realised it's only part of the story. The next bit will, I guess, be about acting on those judgement calls.

Well, my condo is on the market. The photos and drone tour make the place look even more staged / hotel-room-like than it is in person. I'm also back to being not terribly optimistic about the prospects, though I remain hopeful. Open house this weekend, probably another one next (since this weekend is Easter), and if there are no bites by then we reevaluate.

In light of my lack of optimism, I'm also going ahead and booking flights etc for the Gathering in late April. (I have a supply of worthless Americanski dollars to use for the trip, so it's not cutting into any budgeted-for-living funds. Though I strongly suspect this will be my last Gathering for some time.) Should I need to move at the end of April and have to reschedule/cancel the trip I will look on that as a Good Problem To Have.

It's spring. Spring in Van is always an iffy prospect, but it's been gloriously sunny most of last week and this. Mr Tuppert, however, is BORED. Unfortunately I have yet to come up with any reliable methods of play for him. He's not fond of physical toys; responses range from disdain to irritation to leaving the room. Even the red dot gets old quickly. Assuming I remain unemployed I may look into getting some cat-talk buttons. Teaching him to use those will be a Challenge for us both, I expect.

Cleaners and "floor-planner" and photographer come today, starting in just under half an hour, and then we list on Monday (for what I had realistically and then optimistically hoped to get, which in practice in this market means probably somewhat less but eh).

Corvaric is about three-quarters of the way to being a blank slate. The last couple of days have entailed packing up things I still need, so that it will Look Nice for the photographs. (I shall unpack at least some of them once today is over with.) This has been frustrating because it means finding a Home for things that already HAVE a Home and are in it. But it's pretty much ready to go. I have even done some v basic spackle and paint work, for which I had to buy an entire gallon of paint because they didn't have any quart containers, but maybe the next people will appreciate it.

My brain can apparently only cope with so much at a time. I know that I'm going to the Gathering next month but I have been unable to plan for that in any real way, like timing or plane tickets or anything. Far as my brain is concerned, things that happen after Monday don't really exist. April is a nebulous blur and past that, I get nothing, it's a huge blank.

Facebook reminds me that four years ago I was standing in an apartment surrounded by boxes. I guess it's a small win for my psyche that the boxes are in a storage unit this time.

I'm gonna miss this place. It is Too Small but not by a whole lot: a second bedroom for a library/office would have made it perfect. (The unit upstairs from mine, with the same floorplan but with the addition of a loft over the kitchen, was for sale about a year before I bought my place. For, as I recall, what I'm asking now. O, Vancouver.) I've even mostly reconciled to the kitchen having an insufficiency of counterspace and drawers. I won't miss the Stifling In Summer, though. Or the upstairs neighbours who vacuum and galumph at all hours, though they probably won't miss the viola playing either, so, fair enough.

I've had the Paranoid Style's "Doug Yule" stuck in my head for the last few days. It's loosely about the guy who Lou Reed recruited to turn the Velvet Underground from a set of clashing personalities making really interesting music to the Lou Reed Backup Band, while the rest of the band quit one by one, eventually including Reed himself. I've rehearsed and rehearsed that my life is a curse / I've been driven away in a rudderless hearse / I've made things that were merely awful much much much much much worse (much worse) (much worse). (Interestingly I think that verse is written to be from the perspective of Sterling Morrison, the second VU member to leave after Reed fired John Cale. I think the verses are each from a different VU member, and the choruses from Reed. I appreciate that a lot.)

Onward to face the day.