Is this a rant?
Mar. 5th, 2005 06:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
robbat2Marissa recieved these emails from her father, who claims they are not rants. What do you think?
[Poll #449340]
Email #1:
Hi, Marissa.
Ok. It may take your mother a while to see this. She's still very slowly
and painfully getting out of bed only to pee.
I thought you flunked the AEON thing or were one of the others also looking
for salespeople/teacher combos? It sounds like a bit of a scam,
still. Are they asking you to pay to get with their program as
well? Anyway, if they're legitimate, it is very unlikely that they will
take you because....
Using your mother as a personal reference is a really bad idea because it
tells them you can't find anyone else. What about Joan or someone like
that? You need to get her email address or that of someone who can vouch
for your character if you're ever going to get a job. Even a friend of
Robin's -- someone with some teaching responsibilities would help -- would
be better. I would have thought that CAP would have taught you at least
that. If it didn't, then it really was a colossal waste of time. If you
used Laura as a personal reference for the other outfits, then that alone
would explain why they rejected you. When I was hiring people for my
little group at Fluor Daniel, I would automatically have rejected any
applications which gave a relative as a personal reference. To the best
of my knowledge, no one ever did. Did they know that Laura is your
mother? The fact that her address is the same as yours would be suspicious
in any case. The best personal reference is a religious leader, a teacher,
or a former employer or colleague who can attest to having seen you in
operation on a daily basis for a reasonably long period of time and can
vouch that you never blow up and threaten to cut people's heads off or
engage in any other obvious anti-social behavior.
Of course your parents think you're a Godsend, because to us, you are, but
people sort of expect that and discount it. You need to get testimony from
unrelated people to attest to that obvious (once people get to know you)
fact.
Your spelling in the below message is excellent. I didn't notice any
problems except for totally messing up "dialogue" and the missing g and e
for a switch in "poignant" near the end. Unfortunately, those words, you
just have to memorize from seeing them in print in books. The more you
read, the better you get at spelling in general and spelling these
rule-free words. Learning Latin would also help because it gives you a
bit of an insight in how these words evolve in the first place so you would
know that the syllable "dio" almost never comes up and if it does probably
refers to God, not to something involving two things or people like
dialogue. Also the logue -> log evolutionary step would be in your mind
more. Poignant is from a French word and the French just love that silly
gn sound. Paying attention to how the word is spoken by people like your
mother who likes to pronounce thinks like that clearly will help you
remember the silent g part of the gn combination which makes it sound like
poy - nyant or a little bit like you spelled it except there still is a
clear "a" sound after the y sound. Listening to things like Douglas Adams
MP3 files (which I still have on my computer and can ftp over to yours if
you don't) can help with that. He really did speak English very well -- as
a lot of people raised in England do.
I didn't take Latin and have regretted it fairly frequently throughout my
life. I had to learn all these little tidbits by just reading a lot of
stuff by people who did have a complete classical education, so my spelling
probably wasn't a whole lot better than yours is now when I was your age,
but since you want to be an English teacher, it is a bit more critical for
you to overcome this problem. Learning German as my first language and
taking French and Spanish later in life has also helped a lot in this
area. A good spell checker also still helps a lot. If you're not getting
a job right away, you might consider spending some of your neopet time
learning Latin or Spanish instead. Spanish has a lot in common with Latin
but is a lot simpler to learn Italian would probably also be good. You
should also spend some time listening to the
I hope the Birthright thing works out for you and that you come back in one
piece. It still remains to be seen whether the post-Arafat political
regime will be a whole lot safer for people in Israel (speaking of
spelling, the spell-checker twigged me to the fact that it is not spelled
"Isreal" just now). One of the first things that happened after the new
guy took over the Palestinian government and started talking with the
Israeli government was that one of the terrorist groups did a suicide
bombing in Jerusalem and blew up a bunch of people.
How does Robin's trip to Germany look in that same time-frame? It would be
great if you could work out a tour of the relatives. My brothers Herbert
and Bernd both speak a bit of English. Bernd is the best at it, but my
sister Gudrun doesn't. For those keeping score at home, those folks are
your Uncles and Aunt respectively. :) Robin could probably understand and
make himself understood to some extent with his Afrikaans.
There's a message on the answering machine from Vanessa. I don't know from
how long ago, but if you haven't spoken with her in a while, you might want
to give her a call and update her on your plans. It helps for crazy people
to get contacts from their old friends and it is generally a bad idea to
drop friends especially for people like us who don't make them that easily.
I just realized another key aspect of spelling which you may or may not
already be doing. You have to re-read what you've written before you send
it out. I always do that and almost always catch a few additional errors
like in this missive, I spelled "bed" as "be" in the first line and caught
that in the re-read phase. I also used the word "clean" when I meant
"clear" in the phrase "clear 'a' sound" at the end of the paragraph where I
was expounding on the two lonely spelling errors I found in your message
below. Your mother will probably find a few more, but still, you're
obviously getting much better.
I suspect a lot of your problems in life in general are due to the
importance you assign to things. You need to reduce the relative
importance of livejournal and neopets in your life and increase the
importance of getting your spelling and grammar (which, by the way, was
flawless in the below message) up to scratch. You also need to increase
the importance of following through with what they should have taught you
in CAP about getting a job. There are a whole set of rules which
recruiters use to weed out the also-rans. A lot of the time, recruiters
know very little about what skills the people they pass through the
screening process actually need to do the job, but they do know what
factors mark the people who don't care enough to get the job. The
recruiters' main job is to weed out the unmotivated who will be too hard to
train to do a good job. You need to make sure you don't show up as one of
those.
Check out "I'm and Adult Now" by "The Pursuit of Happiness" at
http://www.interlog.com/~charzi/tpoh/bioinfo/audio.htm It's more for guys
but it is something to think about. Transitions in life. Something you
were always a bit reluctant to get on with. Time to figuratively peel
those grubby little kid's paws from the parental legs and get out there and
kick ass! It's not that we don't want you around, but we (and I'm pretty
sure your mother agrees with me on this point) want you to be able to
compete successfully in the world as an adult. I suspect a lot of the
people out there who "just don't get you" will do so if you meet them half
way.
Love,
Your Dear Old Dad
<http://lyrics.rare-lyrics.com/p/pursuit-of-happiness/i%27m-an-adult-now.html>I'm
An Adult Now
Well, I don't hate my parents
I don't get drunk just to spite them
I've got my own reasons to drink now
Think I'll call my dad up and invite him
I can sleep in till noon anytime I want
Though there's not many days that I do
Gotta get up and take on that world
When your an adult it's no cliche it's the truth
(Chorus)
'Cause I'm an adult now
I'm an adult now
I've got the problems of an adult
On my head and on my shoulders
I'm an adult now
I can't even look at young girls anymore
People will think I'm some kind of pervert
Adult sex is either boring or dirty
Young people they can get away with murder
Chorus
I don't write songs about girls anymore
I have to write songs about women
No more boy meets girl boy loses girl
More like man tries to figure out what the hell went wrong
Chorus
I can't take any more illicit drugs
I can't afford any artificial joy
I'd sure look like a dick dead in a ditch somewhere
With a mind full of chemicals
Like some fucking high school boy
Chorus
Sometimes my head hurts and sometimes my stomach hurts
And I guess it won't be long
Till I'm sitting in a room with a bunch
of people whose necks and backs are aching
Whose sight and hearing's failing
Who just can't seem to get it up
Speaking of hearing, I can't take too much loud music
I mean I like to play it, but I sure don't like the racket
Noise, but I can't hear anything
Just guitars screaming, screaming, screaming
Some guy screaming in a leather jacket
Wooah!
(Chorus)
25 Signs that you're an adult now
1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a one of them.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You now keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door
don't know how to turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog or cat Science Diet instead of MacDonald's.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
17. Eating a bucket of chicken wings at 3 a.m would severely upset, rather
than settle, your stomach.
18. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and
pregnancy test kits.
19. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer pretty good stuff.
20. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
21. "I just can't drink the way I used to,"
replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
22. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
work.
23. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
24. Most of the names in your "little black book" are physicians.
25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to
you.
Ok, so maybe there are a few things here that don't apply to you yet, but
wait for it..... :)
Email #2:
Hi again, Marissa.
Laura had a whole lot to say about all this. I printed it out for
her. She was also appalled by the thought that you might be using her as a
personal reference. She suggests Yulan as a personal reference. I'm not
so sure. It would be better if it was a friend of yours rather than of
your mother's. Even Robin would probably be better. You need to run all
your applications past your mother before you send them out. She's better
than I am at spotting spelling and grammatical errors and she knows what an
application needs to have to have a chance to get past the initial
"interview or chuck it" test. I know it is painful for you to do this
because of her strident way of pointing out your mistakes, but it is
important that the mistakes be found and corrected. You only have one
chance to make a good first impression and so far, you've blown that every
time one way or another. It's good not to cry over spilt milk, but it is
even better not to keep spilling more. You also need to become more active
and start eating breakfast or at least start earlier in the day and don't
eat just before you finally crash. As your mother pointed out, it is
illegal to ask if you're pregnant, so if you look like you might be, people
will err on the side of caution and hire someone who looks less likely to
be pregnant (even if she actually turns out to be) instead.
In the meantime I checked out the
http://www.oranimcanada.com/college_credit.asp URL. Did you want to take
the University credits as well? It looks like a good idea and may help you
get considered for jobs in the future. The costs seem quite reasonable for
what you're getting -- provided you don't end up getting blown up. Did you
mention your other travels in your resume? You might be able to visit
Andrea and her growing tribe while you're there.
Love,
uf
[Poll #449340]
Email #1:
Hi, Marissa.
Ok. It may take your mother a while to see this. She's still very slowly
and painfully getting out of bed only to pee.
I thought you flunked the AEON thing or were one of the others also looking
for salespeople/teacher combos? It sounds like a bit of a scam,
still. Are they asking you to pay to get with their program as
well? Anyway, if they're legitimate, it is very unlikely that they will
take you because....
Using your mother as a personal reference is a really bad idea because it
tells them you can't find anyone else. What about Joan or someone like
that? You need to get her email address or that of someone who can vouch
for your character if you're ever going to get a job. Even a friend of
Robin's -- someone with some teaching responsibilities would help -- would
be better. I would have thought that CAP would have taught you at least
that. If it didn't, then it really was a colossal waste of time. If you
used Laura as a personal reference for the other outfits, then that alone
would explain why they rejected you. When I was hiring people for my
little group at Fluor Daniel, I would automatically have rejected any
applications which gave a relative as a personal reference. To the best
of my knowledge, no one ever did. Did they know that Laura is your
mother? The fact that her address is the same as yours would be suspicious
in any case. The best personal reference is a religious leader, a teacher,
or a former employer or colleague who can attest to having seen you in
operation on a daily basis for a reasonably long period of time and can
vouch that you never blow up and threaten to cut people's heads off or
engage in any other obvious anti-social behavior.
Of course your parents think you're a Godsend, because to us, you are, but
people sort of expect that and discount it. You need to get testimony from
unrelated people to attest to that obvious (once people get to know you)
fact.
Your spelling in the below message is excellent. I didn't notice any
problems except for totally messing up "dialogue" and the missing g and e
for a switch in "poignant" near the end. Unfortunately, those words, you
just have to memorize from seeing them in print in books. The more you
read, the better you get at spelling in general and spelling these
rule-free words. Learning Latin would also help because it gives you a
bit of an insight in how these words evolve in the first place so you would
know that the syllable "dio" almost never comes up and if it does probably
refers to God, not to something involving two things or people like
dialogue. Also the logue -> log evolutionary step would be in your mind
more. Poignant is from a French word and the French just love that silly
gn sound. Paying attention to how the word is spoken by people like your
mother who likes to pronounce thinks like that clearly will help you
remember the silent g part of the gn combination which makes it sound like
poy - nyant or a little bit like you spelled it except there still is a
clear "a" sound after the y sound. Listening to things like Douglas Adams
MP3 files (which I still have on my computer and can ftp over to yours if
you don't) can help with that. He really did speak English very well -- as
a lot of people raised in England do.
I didn't take Latin and have regretted it fairly frequently throughout my
life. I had to learn all these little tidbits by just reading a lot of
stuff by people who did have a complete classical education, so my spelling
probably wasn't a whole lot better than yours is now when I was your age,
but since you want to be an English teacher, it is a bit more critical for
you to overcome this problem. Learning German as my first language and
taking French and Spanish later in life has also helped a lot in this
area. A good spell checker also still helps a lot. If you're not getting
a job right away, you might consider spending some of your neopet time
learning Latin or Spanish instead. Spanish has a lot in common with Latin
but is a lot simpler to learn Italian would probably also be good. You
should also spend some time listening to the
I hope the Birthright thing works out for you and that you come back in one
piece. It still remains to be seen whether the post-Arafat political
regime will be a whole lot safer for people in Israel (speaking of
spelling, the spell-checker twigged me to the fact that it is not spelled
"Isreal" just now). One of the first things that happened after the new
guy took over the Palestinian government and started talking with the
Israeli government was that one of the terrorist groups did a suicide
bombing in Jerusalem and blew up a bunch of people.
How does Robin's trip to Germany look in that same time-frame? It would be
great if you could work out a tour of the relatives. My brothers Herbert
and Bernd both speak a bit of English. Bernd is the best at it, but my
sister Gudrun doesn't. For those keeping score at home, those folks are
your Uncles and Aunt respectively. :) Robin could probably understand and
make himself understood to some extent with his Afrikaans.
There's a message on the answering machine from Vanessa. I don't know from
how long ago, but if you haven't spoken with her in a while, you might want
to give her a call and update her on your plans. It helps for crazy people
to get contacts from their old friends and it is generally a bad idea to
drop friends especially for people like us who don't make them that easily.
I just realized another key aspect of spelling which you may or may not
already be doing. You have to re-read what you've written before you send
it out. I always do that and almost always catch a few additional errors
like in this missive, I spelled "bed" as "be" in the first line and caught
that in the re-read phase. I also used the word "clean" when I meant
"clear" in the phrase "clear 'a' sound" at the end of the paragraph where I
was expounding on the two lonely spelling errors I found in your message
below. Your mother will probably find a few more, but still, you're
obviously getting much better.
I suspect a lot of your problems in life in general are due to the
importance you assign to things. You need to reduce the relative
importance of livejournal and neopets in your life and increase the
importance of getting your spelling and grammar (which, by the way, was
flawless in the below message) up to scratch. You also need to increase
the importance of following through with what they should have taught you
in CAP about getting a job. There are a whole set of rules which
recruiters use to weed out the also-rans. A lot of the time, recruiters
know very little about what skills the people they pass through the
screening process actually need to do the job, but they do know what
factors mark the people who don't care enough to get the job. The
recruiters' main job is to weed out the unmotivated who will be too hard to
train to do a good job. You need to make sure you don't show up as one of
those.
Check out "I'm and Adult Now" by "The Pursuit of Happiness" at
http://www.interlog.com/~charzi/tpoh/bioinfo/audio.htm It's more for guys
but it is something to think about. Transitions in life. Something you
were always a bit reluctant to get on with. Time to figuratively peel
those grubby little kid's paws from the parental legs and get out there and
kick ass! It's not that we don't want you around, but we (and I'm pretty
sure your mother agrees with me on this point) want you to be able to
compete successfully in the world as an adult. I suspect a lot of the
people out there who "just don't get you" will do so if you meet them half
way.
Love,
Your Dear Old Dad
<http://lyrics.rare-lyrics.com/p/pursuit-of-happiness/i%27m-an-adult-now.html>I'm
An Adult Now
Well, I don't hate my parents
I don't get drunk just to spite them
I've got my own reasons to drink now
Think I'll call my dad up and invite him
I can sleep in till noon anytime I want
Though there's not many days that I do
Gotta get up and take on that world
When your an adult it's no cliche it's the truth
(Chorus)
'Cause I'm an adult now
I'm an adult now
I've got the problems of an adult
On my head and on my shoulders
I'm an adult now
I can't even look at young girls anymore
People will think I'm some kind of pervert
Adult sex is either boring or dirty
Young people they can get away with murder
Chorus
I don't write songs about girls anymore
I have to write songs about women
No more boy meets girl boy loses girl
More like man tries to figure out what the hell went wrong
Chorus
I can't take any more illicit drugs
I can't afford any artificial joy
I'd sure look like a dick dead in a ditch somewhere
With a mind full of chemicals
Like some fucking high school boy
Chorus
Sometimes my head hurts and sometimes my stomach hurts
And I guess it won't be long
Till I'm sitting in a room with a bunch
of people whose necks and backs are aching
Whose sight and hearing's failing
Who just can't seem to get it up
Speaking of hearing, I can't take too much loud music
I mean I like to play it, but I sure don't like the racket
Noise, but I can't hear anything
Just guitars screaming, screaming, screaming
Some guy screaming in a leather jacket
Wooah!
(Chorus)
25 Signs that you're an adult now
1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a one of them.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You now keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door
don't know how to turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog or cat Science Diet instead of MacDonald's.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
17. Eating a bucket of chicken wings at 3 a.m would severely upset, rather
than settle, your stomach.
18. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and
pregnancy test kits.
19. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer pretty good stuff.
20. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
21. "I just can't drink the way I used to,"
replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
22. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
work.
23. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
24. Most of the names in your "little black book" are physicians.
25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to
you.
Ok, so maybe there are a few things here that don't apply to you yet, but
wait for it..... :)
Email #2:
Hi again, Marissa.
Laura had a whole lot to say about all this. I printed it out for
her. She was also appalled by the thought that you might be using her as a
personal reference. She suggests Yulan as a personal reference. I'm not
so sure. It would be better if it was a friend of yours rather than of
your mother's. Even Robin would probably be better. You need to run all
your applications past your mother before you send them out. She's better
than I am at spotting spelling and grammatical errors and she knows what an
application needs to have to have a chance to get past the initial
"interview or chuck it" test. I know it is painful for you to do this
because of her strident way of pointing out your mistakes, but it is
important that the mistakes be found and corrected. You only have one
chance to make a good first impression and so far, you've blown that every
time one way or another. It's good not to cry over spilt milk, but it is
even better not to keep spilling more. You also need to become more active
and start eating breakfast or at least start earlier in the day and don't
eat just before you finally crash. As your mother pointed out, it is
illegal to ask if you're pregnant, so if you look like you might be, people
will err on the side of caution and hire someone who looks less likely to
be pregnant (even if she actually turns out to be) instead.
In the meantime I checked out the
http://www.oranimcanada.com/college_credit.asp URL. Did you want to take
the University credits as well? It looks like a good idea and may help you
get considered for jobs in the future. The costs seem quite reasonable for
what you're getting -- provided you don't end up getting blown up. Did you
mention your other travels in your resume? You might be able to visit
Andrea and her growing tribe while you're there.
Love,
uf
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-03-06 07:19 am (UTC)but what the hell about that pregnant thing? marissa is slim. :/ way to go self-esteem mom and dad.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-03-06 08:32 am (UTC)However, neither my dad (who isn't exactly svelte) nor my 300 pound mother should have anything to talk about telling ME I look pregnant.
It's just cause my tummy's bigger than everywhere else. My fat tends to go to the tummy.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-03-06 08:46 am (UTC)smaller chests makes it look worse than it actually is, d'oh. whatever.
sometimes people can hide their tummy fat because their boobs are so big it makes their waists look small...but they're just fooling themselves! FOOOLS!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-03-06 09:14 am (UTC)Because of the smaller chest, I have a pear thing happening. I just get smaller and smaller the farther up you go.
But my tummy is getting big. I'm about 145lbs ATM and only 5'4" but even on the stupid BMI scale I'm only slightly overweight.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-03-06 10:39 am (UTC)I want to get a fat percentage measurement...but I don't know where or how they do that.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-03-07 01:33 am (UTC)There was this dumbass school district in the states that got it into their obesse pointy little heads that the best way to help their students was to make it manditory for every kid to get weighed by the nurse and have thier BMI's sent to their parents.
So if you thought you were only a little heavy before, now you have a specific number looming over your head.
One problem was that parents had no idea what a BMI was and when they got a letter that said they're kid was fat they started flipping out and like watching their diets and shit.
Except that one kid who got a letter that said he was fat was the fucking football team captain! Of course he weights a ton - it's solid muscle mass!
Besides which fat is lighter anyway.
BMI's are retarded. We had a scale that was supposed to calculate water weight fat percentage stuff but it didn't work very well.
I say just ask a doctor.