Do you edit?

Anybody with a few moments to spare, and not minding critiquing work, take a look at this:
http://www.orbis-terrarum.net/~robbat2/intd214/5.html

Tell me what you think, suggeestions for changes/additions/replacements/removals etc. Telling me that I suck is OK as well, as long as you do it in a constructive way!